Atonement

Atonement is defined as:

1. satisfaction or reparation for a wrong or injury; amends.
2.(sometimes initial capital letter) Theology. the doctrine concerning the reconciliation of God and humankind, esp. as accomplished through the life, suffering, and death of Christ.
3.Christian Science. the experience of humankind's unity with God exemplified by Jesus Christ.
4.Archaic. reconciliation; agreement.

I'm not so much concerned with the third and fourth definition, I want to talk about the first two, eventually.

Yesterday the second part of my class focused on grief and loss. It brought up a whole host of emotions for me. According to the person giving the lecture there are all sorts of losses that one must grieve.

The obvious ones- through death, of parents, children, family members, friends etc.

Then there are less obvious one, a person can have a myriad of losses through a divorce. A whole side of a family, friends, lifestyle, etc.

There are other losses as well. A person can lose a lot when they lose their job. With mental illness there can be many losses you may have to grieve the loss of functioning, or identity, loss of dreams because you just can't pursue certain things because it would be too stressful to pursue that particular thing with the limitations of your illness.

Personally, I've had to grieve the loss of my country, fertility, dreams and a whole host of other things.

It was an interesting class.

I was thinking about how I had incompletely grieved some of my losses. I never truly grieved the loss of my grandma when she died, she didn't have a funeral, and I was 3,000 miles away from my entire family, so I didn't even get to gather around the table and play remember when. Today I wrote an essay about her, I cried about it. I feel some healing happening, where I didn't even know I needed it.

Then I was thinking of some of my other losses, less obvious ones, but ones I still carry around with me. Through some of my own actions and the actions of others I've lost most of the people who knew me before I turned about 25. I still have my immediate family, but there is a whole swath of people who knew me for varying lengths of time that I don't have any contact with. One whole side of my family due to my parents divorce. Friends and family due to my divorce, lots of people. The only people who I have any real relationships who knew me before I was 25 are my Dad and my siblings. And, honestly, living 3,000 miles away, it's hard to maintain a really close connection to them. I am thankful of course, for my family, and for my stepmom who I met right before I turned 25 :)

How does that lead me back to atonement?

I was thinking about it, and I have no real way of making atonement for the wrongs that I have done to some of these people. I definitely can't repair most of the relationships, and I don't believe I can make amends either. To varying degrees I have attempted it, I've tried to reconnect with parts of my family and I've reached out to old friends. But, there haven't been any real bonds re-formed. In some cases, I know it isn't even possible. I don't know how to atone for the wrongs that I've done, and if anyone comes across this blog and thinks this applies to you, know that I am sorry for hurting you. I know that I was wrong.
I've been working on improving myself and trying to do the right thing and be a better person for many years now. I've held a heavy load of guilt for a long time. If you want to more fully discuss it, please email me.

This leads me to the second definition of Atonement.


I know that Jesus Christ died on the Cross to atone for my sins. I thank God every single day that He has.

Here is my understanding of what that means. God gave Adam and Eve free will. When they listened to the lies of the serpent and disobeyed God, they brought sin into the world. A punishment was required for that very first sin, and He pronounced a judgment on them. Death, spiritual, physical, a separation from Him. Since that time, every person has been under the curse of sin. God, being a Holy God cannot tolerate sin, so if we remain in our sin we are separated from Him. But, at that time God also made a provision for salvation. At the proper time He sent His Son to the world to become flesh. His sinless Son, Jesus Christ, took on the sins of the entire world. In his crucifixion and death, He died bearing our sins in order that the punishment for them may be satisfied and we could be reconciled to God.

Praise God, He rose again, He has victory over the grave. He is seated at the right hand of the Father. And, He will come again. (Even so, Come Quickly Lord Jesus!)

Some of my favourite verses

Romans 3: 22-26
22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement,through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

John 3:16-17

16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

John 14:1-3

1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am

I get choked up every time I read this next one, I can't read it aloud with out tears choking my voice. My little boy always asks me why. I cling to this, a promise.

This is in the New King James version

1 Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. 2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”